Like many red-blooded Americans on the Fourth of July, I found myself curled up on the couch with a cold beer in one hand and my TV remote in the other.

　　I damn near jumped off the couch (okay, that’s an exaggeration—I raise both eyebrows) when I saw what was being broadcast on ESPN2: It’s the American Cornhole League! On ES-freakin’-PN! Nevermind that watching 10 minutes of televised cornhole competition was as boring as it sounds, the sheer novelty of seeing this most Midwestern of competitive “sports” broadcast on national television was a delight to behold.

　　But what was truly astounding was the response after I tweeted about this. A number of well-respected food media colleagues pointed out that Johnsonville—a corporate sponsor of the ACL—had a rather clever slogan visible on the cornhole court: You can’t spell SAUSAGE without U-S-A.

　　Holy sausages!

　　Did I live 30-some-odd years of my life and never realized U-S-A was at the literal and metaphorical heart of sausage? Is this like seeing Jason Derulo in a calendar?

　　So please, go onward fellow patriots, with the newfound knowledge that sausages are in fact the most American of meats. Not burgers, not bacon, but sausage. America’s in the goddamn name. Now that’s how you earn my patronage, Johnsonville.