Some hybrid fast-food locations are greater than the sum of their parts. Take the combo KFC-Taco Bells: Nacho Fries in KFC gravy? Fuck. Yes. But the lone worldwide location combining IHOP and Applebee’s—which just opened in Detroit this week—misses a few key crossover opportunities.

　　Namely, the $1 Applebee’s cocktail specials are not, we repeat, are not available at this Applebee’s-IHOP, according to Eater Detroit. (What is even the point then, I ask you.) Also, one cannot order Applebee’s items such as grilled chicken wonton tacos for breakfast; the location serves an IHOP-only breakfast, then transitions to a hybrid Applebee’s-IHOP menu for lunch, happy hour, and dinner. Even the new IHOP/IHOB burger-centric menu is not available at this location.

　　But most importantly, missing from what could be a glorious union is the portmanteau. Apparently Dine Brands—which owns both Applebee’s and IHOP—and the local franchisee who combined their forces both missed the chance to create a glorious moniker for the two. Fine, we will do it for them:

　　AppleHOP

　　IBee’sInternational House of $1 Long Island Iced TeasHOPplebee’sInternational House of AppeteezersApplehouse

　　Denny’sInternational House of Bees