[This story contains major spoilers fromTheWhite Lotusseason three finale, Amor Fati.]

At the end of The White Lotus third season, Lochlan Ratliff survived what should have been a fatal dose of poisonous pia colada, but Sam Nivola doesnt think he had any permanent epiphanies from his near-death experience. Sadly, I think the only thing hes leaving Thailand with is one more traumatic memory, says the actor.

In the finale, which aired on HBO on Sunday evening, fans see the other Ratliff siblings find self-realization, whether mildly profound (Saxon unearthed his more spiritual side and at least an inkling of a soul) or materialistic (Piper cant settle for low thread count or non-organic food). Saxon changes, he realizes he needs to respect women more and thats great for him, but I dont think Lochlan grows in that way, explains Nivola. I think hes just as lost as he was before. Two days after the finale aired, Nivola spoke with The Hollywood Reporter about his characters emotional non-journey, facing his fears to shoot a pivotal scene and how he kept the plot a secret from some people.

Do you think Lochlan was telling the truth when he told Timothy that he could live without all of their wealth? Will he, subsequently, fare better than the rest of them when they find out theyve lost everything?

I think he will. I dont think that was a lie but its not his primary issue. I think all of his problems are inward, whereas the rest of the family has outward problems as well. Money is not something thats in your soul, its a very material thing, and I think Lochlan is saying that whatever is happening outside of my body is not much concern to me because Ive got much bigger fish to fry. Hes going through a full-blown identity crisis.

Youve already explained that the reason Lachlan drank the remnants of the poison pia colada is that he assumed it was leftover protein shake from Saxon. Is that a decision you made as Lochlan, or did you ask creator Mike White on set?

I never asked, it seemed pretty intuitive to me. It seemed obvious. Ive been taken aback by how many people in the past 24 hours have asked me about that, I didnt think it would be such a big thing. Ive done that. If Im making multiple smoothies a day, and theres a little residue in the bottom, its the same shit, you know?

Theres been some speculation about both the timeline of the shooting and the boats that leave the resort, based mostly on the fact that none of the departing guests seem to be panicking about people being killed. Did the Ratliffs know what happened?

I think theres a certain amount of narcissism at play. Its actually funny, because thats a part of the show and people often forget that because the characters become lovable over the course of the nine hours. But this is a breed of rich people that only care about themselves. And I mean, listen, this is more Mikes question to answer, but I think they just dont give much of a shit about anything that isnt their own stuff. And the way we justified it as we were filming is that the shooting happened simultaneously with loading up the boat, and Im sure the hotel staff would want to keep it as quiet as possible that theres been a shooting. They wouldnt want to lose them as clients because, of course, capitalistic moneymaking is the top priority for The White Lotus.

Can you talk about what sticks out for you from the filming of the near-death scene?

We filmed two versions of the underwater sequence, one of which was just me trying to swim to the top and the other of which was me coming out of a body bag and then drowning. Coming out of the body bag was a cool look, but the question was, will it be too confusing for the audience? Like did he die and then get tossed into the ocean? We shot all day, and it was so surreal and weird to be unzipping myself from a body bag underwater.

Are you claustrophobic?

Oh, majorly. I hate boats, I hate being in confined spaces I cant get out of. We shot that full moon party scene at the real thing, with 100,000 people on the beach and its on a separate island. You have to take a boat to get there, and then youre stuck there until the next boat goes home. Thats so nerve-wracking for someone who gets claustrophobic and agoraphobic but its good exposure therapy. I feel stronger for it.

Did you tell anyone in your close circle what to expect from this season?

I totally did. And I really shouldnt have. But I only told my closest friends and family, my most trustworthy people. I felt like I had to tell my parents and my 15-year-old sister what to expect before episode six, because otherwise they never would have looked at me the same way. And my girlfriend [Iris Apatow] was with me when we shot that whole thing. And Mikes not too precious about that he trusts the cast, so he trusts the people we brought with us. And weirdly, Mike is friends with my girlfriends dad [Judd Apatow], so he trusted her regardless of me. We were all one big family and so when peoples partners came to stay they were just as welcome to know everything as they wanted. I know Abby, Patrick [Schwarzeneggers] fiance, didnt want to know anything.

And its possible to keep storylines from people who were there?

We actually played a prank on her. We convinced her that it was me and Patrick who die. I know she was then on a boat with Mike and Patrick and she was like, By the way, Mike, I know that the brothers die. Mike looked confused for a second, then glanced over to Patrick, who winked at him, and he totally played along. Like yeah, its a tragedy. Then the night before last, Abby was at the finale screening and watched it with all of us and I saw her like, what the fuck just happened?

Did you all have any sense, as you were making the show, of how it would be received?

Well, its never a sure thing that something is going to be a hit, and I remember talking about this a lot with the cast in Thailand. With actors, every job you do, youre agents like, This is going to be the thing that changes your life. And then it doesnt. And thats not them trying to dupe you, I adore my agent, but its because things can look that way at first. There are so many shows and movies that have loaded casts, are written and directed by geniuses, marketed by billion-dollar companies and something doesnt work and people dont watch. And with this, the first two seasons were huge, but we didnt have Jennifer Coolidge, who was a huge part of why they were a hit. But I had a fantastic, life-changing experience shooting it and I liked the way it turned out and thats all you can really ask for.

Was there a point at which you realized it was a success, like from reading reviews or social media response to the season?

Im not on social media much, besides posting all my work stuff on Instagram, but I dont look at it very much. But my grandma sends me every single article written about me. Shes just like, heres a link, which is so cute because its not like Im going to read it. Im like, I did the interview, I know what happened in the conversation, grandma.

Is describing this show as life-changing, is there a specific tangible way that it did?

Well, it gave me this new set of friends. Theyre some of the best people Ive ever met and we have this shared, unique experience that no one will be able to understand apart from us. It gave us a real bond. It also gave me a lot of confidence. Ive never had someone who wasnt my close family reach out to me about a performance of mine to say they liked it. Ive had a lot of that with this. Im 21 years old. Ive only been in a few things, so its hard not to feel imposter syndrome or like I dont deserve these opportunities that Im getting. Like, I hardly even went to acting school. You can feel like youre in another persons body when youre getting a lot of success. But now Im like, maybe I do deserve to be in the room and people are liking what Im doing.