We never went hungry as kids. And we have no inherent fear of the next Great Depression or anxiety about canned food. Still, we always want more. Wanting and eating four of the Swedish shrimp-egg things you can buy in the restaurant at IKEA is a good example of that. Another good example is how we would have piled more stuff on this modest toast if we could have fit it: a can of sardines from Bretagne, maybe, or quails stuffed with crab hiding in the corner. Our first reaction on seeing this photo was, “Shit, we forgot clams.” There are thirty items here, and if we do another book, we will put in sixty, we promise (just so we don’t run out of food). Disclaimer: In no way do we aspire or pretend to serve authentic Scandinavian food. This is just our view projected onto a classic. The closest we have been to Scandinavia is Fred Heimlich-maneuvering a Dane who choked on the biggest oyster ever eaten raw. And it was a weird experience because it was like they kissed; they were shy around each other for the rest of the evening. In the list that follows, an asterisk means a recipe is included. If there’s no *, it means the item is straightforward and you can figure it out. We suggest serving the items on rye bread or a baguette sliced lengthwise and buttered. You then eat your open-faced sandwich with a fork and knife. Or, you can do as we do: add condiments and eat it like a military strategist, portioning, placing, moving, and rationing. Regarding yields: the smorgasbord is more of a concept than a straightforward recipe. The smorgasbord shown here serves 4 to 6, and includes every single thing listed. You don’t have to follow our lead (though we would be pleased). Typically we put 4 or 5 proteins and 4 or 5 condiments on the average smorgasbord. Following this rule, each of the small recipes serves four.

　　

Ingredients

Serves 4 to 6

　　Grated fresh horseradish

　　Dijon mustard

　　Black Pepper Crème Fraîche*

　　Cucumber Salad*

　　Dill Butter*

　　Smoked Mackerel*

　　Whitefish eggs

　　Mújol (grey mullet) eggs (cheap caviar)

　　Dill flowers

　　Caper berries

　　Maple Smoked Kamouraska Eel*

　　Pickled Eggs with Celery and Horseradish*

　　Char Tartare*

　　Aquavit Onions*

　　Cured Char with Gin*

　　Canned Scandinavian sprats

　　Fresh Gaspé snow crab

　　Beets

　　French breakfast radishes with unsalted butter

　　Dutch-style matjes herring

　　Smoked Rainbow Trout*

　　Nova Scotian “Salmon” Gundy*

　　One big Carr’s oyster

　　Potato Salad with Cider Vinegar and Shallot*

　　Smoked West Coast Oysters* (scrub the shell if you are placing it directly on the bread)

　　Cold poached lobster

　　Smoked Sturgeon*

　　Smoked Scallops*

　　Scandinavian salmon spread in a tube

　　Onion from “salmon” gundy

　　

BLACK PEPPER CRÈME FRAÎCHE

2 cups (500 ml) whipping cream (35 percent butterfat)

　　1/4 cup (60 ml) buttermilk

　　Pinch of black pepper

　　

CUCUMBER SALAD

4 Lebanese cucumbers, or 1 English cucumber

　　1 teaspoon kosher salt

　　1/4 cup (60 ml) white vinegar

　　1/4 cup (60 ml) water

　　Pepper

　　1 tablespoon sugar

　　1 tablespoon mustard seeds

　　

DILL BUTTER

1 cup (225 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature

　　1/3 cup (10 g) finely chopped fresh dill

　　2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

　　Salt and pepper

　　

SMOKED MACKEREL OR RAINBOW TROUT

4 cups (1 liter) water

　　1 rounded cup (240 g) salt

　　1/4 cup (60 ml) soy sauce

　　1/3 cup (100 g) Grade B (dark) maple syrup

　　4 whole mackerel or rainbow trout, 10 to 16 ounces (280 to 455 g) each, gutted

　　

MAPLE SMOKED KAMOURASKA EEL

8 ounces (225 g) smoked eel (from the Saint Lawrence, if possible), filleted and skinned

　　2 tablespoons maple syrup

　　Salt and pepper

　　

PICKLED EGGS WITH CELERY AND HORSERADISH

10 chicken or quail eggs

　　1 cup (250 ml) water

　　1 cup (250 ml) distilled white vinegar

　　1 1/2 tablespoons sugar

　　1 tablespoon mustard seeds

　　1 sprig tarragon

　　1 celery stalk, cut into matchsticks

　　2 slices fresh horseradish, each 1/4 inch (6 mm) thick

　　

CHAR TARTARE

8 ounces (225 g) skinned arctic char fillet (steel head trout would also do)

　　1/2 lemon

　　1 tablespoon chopped fresh chives

　　1 French shallot, finely diced

　　Salt and pepper

　　1 tablespoon grape seed oil

　　Fresh horseradish for serving

　　

AQUAVIT ONIONS

One 8-ounce (224-g) jar sour cocktail onions

　　1/4 cup (60 ml) aquavit

　　

CURED CHAR WITH GIN

1 pound (455 g) skin-on arctic char fillet, pinboned (or you can use sockeye salmon)

　　1/3 cup (65 g) packed brown sugar

　　1/3 cup (65 g) granulated sugar

　　1/3 cup (75 g) salt

　　1 tablespoon peppercorns

　　3 tablespoons gin

　　1/2 cup (20 g) chopped fresh dill

　　

NOVA SCOTIAN “SALMON” GUNDY

1 large piece skinned wild salmon fillet, about 12 ounces (340 g), pinboned

　　3/4 cup (210 g) pickling salt

　　1 small onion, sliced

　　1 cup (250 ml) distilled white vinegar

　　1/4 cup (50 g) sugar

　　1 tablespoon classic pickling spice, in a cloth bag

　　

POTATO SALAD WITH CIDER VINEGAR AND SHALLOT

8 ounces (225 g) small potatoes, skin on

　　1 tablespoon cider vinegar

　　1/4 cup (60 ml) whipping cream (35 percent butterfat)

　　2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

　　1 French shallot, finely chopped

　　Leaves from 2 sprigs tarragon, finely chopped

　　Salt and pepper

　　

BLACK PEPPER CRÈME FRAÎCHE

Step 1

Combine the cream and buttermilk in a measuring pitcher and stir until you get a thick yogurt consistency. Transfer to a jar, cover with cheesecloth or muslin, and secure with a rubber band. Leave at room temperature for 12 hours.

　　

Step 2

The crème fraîche is now ready to use. If you want to drain off some liquid so it is thicker, spoon it into a sieve lined with a coffee filter placed over a bowl, and put the setup in the fridge for a few hours. Add the pepper to the cream just before serving.

　　

CUCUMBER SALAD

Step 3

Thinly slice the cucumbers and place in a colander. Lightly rub the salt into the slices while tossing them. Place the colander over a bowl and let drain for about 15 minutes. Place the cucumber slices in a bowl and set aside.

　　

Step 4

In a small saucepan, bring the vinegar, water, pepper to taste, sugar, and mustard seeds to a boil. Remove from the heat, pour the mixture over the cucumber slices, and refrigerate for 1 hour. Add more pepper to taste before serving.

　　

DILL BUTTER

Step 5

In a bowl, work together the butter, dill, and mustard until smooth. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Scoop onto a sheet of plastic wrap and, using the wrap, shape into a cylinder the diameter of a silver dollar. Wrap in the plastic wrap and refrigerate for about 3 hours, or until firm.

　　

Step 6

You may use the butter now, leave it in the fridge longer, or freeze it to use later. (It is good on poached fish or poultry.)

　　

SMOKED MACKEREL OR RAINBOW TROUT

Step 7

In a thick-bottomed pot, combine the water, salt, soy sauce, and maple syrup and bring almost to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring to dissolve the salt. Take it off the stove and chill it in the fridge.

　　

Step 8

Lay the fish in a plastic container with a tight-fitting lid, cover with the cold brine, and cover with the lid. Refrigerate for 6 hours.

　　

Step 9

When you are ready to smoke, start your smoker. It should be barely warm when you start, and it should take about 30 minutes to reach 85°F (30°C)—inside the smoker that is. It is now that the fish take on that distinctive crust that makes them look smoked. After 1 1/2 hours, the smoker should be at 150°F (65°C). At the 2-hour mark, it should reach 200°F (95°C). At this point, the internal temperature of the fish should read (on a good-quality, well-calibrated electronic thermometer) about 140°F (60°C). Make sure there is always a good cloud of smoke. (I suggest taking readings at 20-minute intervals to make sure you don’t overshoot that 140°F mark.)

　　

Step 10

You can store the smoked fish in the fridge for up to a week, or you can freeze it for up to a month.

　　

MAPLE SMOKED KAMOURASKA EEL

Step 11

Preheat the broiler. Cut the eel into 4 equal pieces, place on a rimmed baking sheet, and baste with some of the maple syrup.

　　

Step 12

Broil the eel for 1 to 2 minutes, or until it bubbles. Remove, baste with the remaining maple syrup, and then broil again for a minute or two. Remove from the broiler, season with salt and pepper (they should stick to the syrup), and serve warm.

　　

PICKLED EGGS WITH CELERY AND HORSERADISH

Step 13

Place the eggs in a pot in cold water to cover, bring to a boil, and boil for 3 minutes for quail eggs or 7 minutes for chicken eggs. Chill in an ice bath, then peel and refrigerate.

　　

Step 14

To make the brine, in a saucepan, combine the water, vinegar, and sugar and bring to a boil. Put your eggs in a Mason jar, and put the mustard seeds, tarragon, celery, and horseradish on top. Pour in the boiling mix and seal the jar. Store in the fridge.

　　

Step 15

The eggs are ready to eat after 1 week. They will keep in the refrigerator for up to 1 month.

　　

CHAR TARTARE

Step 16

Rinse the fish and pat dry. With your sharpest knife, remove the brown flesh on the skinned side, not too much, just a little. Cut the fish into 1/4-inch (6-mm) cubes, transferring the pieces to a cool bowl as you go.

　　

Step 17

Add about 1 teaspoon lemon juice, the chives, shallot, and a generous pinch each of salt and pepper and stir. Taste and rectify if need be, then mix in the oil.

　　

Step 18

Serve within 15 minutes. Shave horseradish to order.

　　

AQUAVIT ONIONS

Step 19

Open the jar of onions, remove 1/4 cup (60 ml) of the liquid, and replace it with the aquavit. (You can also use vodka in place of aquavit and then add 20 caraway seeds and 10 coriander seeds.)

　　

Step 20

Leave for 3 or 4 days (at least). Open and serve.

　　

CURED CHAR WITH GIN

Step 21

If you have 1 fillet, cut it into 2 equal pieces. If you have 2 fillets, they should be of equal size. In a small bowl, mix together the sugars, salt, peppercorns, and gin to form a paste. Divide the paste evenly among the 4 sides of the fish pieces. Using half of the dill, cover the flesh side of both pieces, and then join the sides together. Slip the sandwiched pieces into a lock-top plastic bag, press out the air, and seal closed. Place the bag between 2 plates, place the setup in the fridge, and leave for 8 hours.

　　

Step 22

Remove the fish from the bag, rinse well under cool water, and pat dry. Cover with the remaining dill, slip the fish into a new bag, and refrigerate again for at least 8 or up to 10 hours so the cure can even out.

　　

Step 23

Remove the fish from the bag, slice thinly, and serve.

　　

NOVA SCOTIAN “SALMON” GUNDY

Step 24

Cut the salmon into 1-inch (2.5-cm) cubes and place in a bowl. Add the salt, toss to mix, cover, and refrigerate overnight.

　　

Step 25

Rinse the salmon cubes under cool water to remove the salt, place in a clean bowl, add cold water to cover, and soak in the refrigerator for 2 hours.

　　

Step 26

In a large, widemouthed Mason jar or wire-bale canning jar, place a layer of fish, then a layer of onion slices. Repeat.

　　

Step 27

In a covered saucepan, combine the vinegar, sugar, and pickling spice and bring to a boil. Remove from the heat and let infuse for 10 minutes. Discard the bag of spices and pour the boiling mix over the fish and onion. Seal the jar, let cool, and refrigerate.

　　

Step 28

Give the salmon and onion a day or two to pickle. They will keep in the refrigerator for up to a month.

　　

POTATO SALAD WITH CIDER VINEGAR AND SHALLOT

Step 29

Boil the potatoes as you would normally, drain them, and immediately pour the vinegar over them. Let them cool off for 5 to 10 minutes.

　　

Step 30

Whip the cream gently just to thicken it. Fold in the mustard, shallot, and tarragon. Season with salt and pepper.

　　

Step 31

When the potatoes have cooled, toss them gently with the cream. Add more salt and pepper to taste.

　　

SMOKED WEST COAST OYSTERS

Step 32

For each large oyster, make a cure of 1 tablespoon each soy sauce and canola oil and 1 teaspoon brown sugar. Be sure to use huge West Coast oysters (Gigas). We shuck them, brush on the cure, and then smoke them on their bottom shell in heavy smoke until they register a core temperature of 140°F (60°C).

　　

SMOKED STURGEON AND SCALLOPS

Step 33

The Smoked Mackerel brine is adequate for processing other fish as well, but the curing time may differ. The dense, thick flesh of sturgeon, for example, may take up to 24 hours at the same temperature. We soak scallops in the brine for 30 minutes, and then smoke them for about an hour, or until they register a core temperature of 140°F (60°C).

　　Reprinted with permission from The Art of Living According to Joe Beef by Frédéric Morin, David McMillan & Meredith Erickson, copyright © 2011. Published by Ten Speed Press, a division of Random House, Inc.