Mariska Hargitay has been playing beloved TV character Olivia Benson for almost half of her life, and while it has surpassed my wildest dreams, she admitted it has taken a toll.

In a conversation with Selena Gomez for Interview magazine, the Emmy-winning Law Order: Special Victims Unit star shared that its been a process learning how to disconnect from the shows tough storylines when she leaves set.

When I started the show, I wasnt aware of how deeply it would go into me, she told Gomez, explaining that everywhere she goes with her husband and former SVU co-star Peter Hermann, he always points out that her first question is about the areas crime rate. Theres been times when I didnt know how to protect myself, and I think I was definitely a victim of secondary trauma from being inundated with these stories and knowing that they were true, she said, noting that lots of the shows plots are pulled straight from real-life headlines. Those were the parts that I didnt know how to metabolize, just because of the sheer volume of it. Thats also why I started Joyful Heart [Foundation], so I would feel like, well, at least Im doing something about it.

While the fact that the episodes are based on things that actually happened makes them harder to handle, Hargitay is also happy about that because it means the show is holding up a mirror to society and saying, This is part of us. These are some of the worst things that we do to each other.

One of the most gratifying parts of this job is how much community has come from it, she explained. Women have learned so much about DNA and going to the hospital and reporting and what not to do and what to do after youre assaulted. It has truly aided in so many peoples justice, not to mention their healing. So, its been quite a journey.

SVU has taught the actress more about sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse than she ever couldve imagined. She admitted she initially didnt know a lot about the especially heinous sexually based crimes the show covers but remembered thinking how progressive the script was when she first read it.

In the shows first year, Dick Wolf was given an award from Mount Sinais Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Program. The night he accepted the honor, Hargitay said was the night she first learned that one in three women will be assaulted in their lifetime and one in six men.

Thats what started the foundation for me, she said of Joyful Heart. According to its website, the organizations mission is to transform societys response to sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse, support survivors healing and end this violence forever.

She continued, Thats when I started going, I have to do something, because the show was obviously tackling the subject matter, but when I learned the statistics, I said, Why isnt everyone talking about this? And if I didnt know, I figured nobody knows what an epidemic violence against women is.

Since SVU kicked off in 1999, Hargitays role has grown both on and offscreen. Benson has gone from detective to sergeant to lieutenant to, ultimately, captain of Manhattans Special Victims Unit. Offscreen, she not only stars in the show but also serves as an executive producer and has directed multiple episodes.

At the time of the shows launch, though, Hargitay was overwhelmed and scared in what she viewed as a patriarchal environment.

They set the rules in their universe, and we just showed up in it, she said. But as I grew and evolved, both as Mariska and as Olivia Benson, I think my favorite part is that as I evolved, I didnt give away pieces of myself. If anything, I took them back. So Im in this very unique place of being a total badass. I know my worth. I know my power. I know what I have to offer, and Im totally comfortable with my vulnerability, with all the ways I still feel like a little girl. Thats a really peaceful place to be.

Law Order: SVU season 26 premieres on Oct. 3 on NBC.