Ingredients

　　

Dried up, old, not juicy

Step 1

Boil the lemon for about 5 minutes and a lot more juice—roughly one-third more—will come out. (It is better, but not vital, to let the lemon cool in the refrigerator before juicing.) Heating for 5 minutes in a 300°F oven will have the same effect, and so will 15 seconds on the high setting in a microwave oven. So, to a lesser extent, will rolling the lemon around on a tabletop with a circular pressing motion, as if you were forming balls of clay.

　　

Need some, have none

Step 2

In small quantities, 1/2 teaspoon vinegar can be substituted for 1 teaspoon lemon juice. We do not recommend this substitution when making lemonade.

　　

Pits falling into your food

Step 3

Wrap half a lemon in cheesecloth before squeezing. When serving dinner, do as some elegant restaurants do: knot or sew the cheesecloth shut. Very classy.

　　

Squirting

Step 4

The current world’s record is held by a lady from Nashville, Tennessee, who shot a stream of lemon juice 48 feet 2 inches, or across the entire width of the dance floor of the Gilded Gazebo Supper Club. Good etiquette requires you to prevent squirting by inserting a fork into your lemon wedge and squeezing it over the fork, shielding it with your hand as you do so.

　　How to Repair Food, Third Edition