I’m just going to say it: We Asians have a fetish with eating things that are very fresh, I’m talking on wrong-side-of-death-fresh. Have you seen these videos of people eating squid sashimi with tentacles still moving? Ones where the suction cups hang on to dear life against the lips of its soon-to-be devourers? I don’t care what folks eat, I just find the whole act over-the-top and self-indulgent.

　　Today on the interwebs, a video was circulating of a woman who posted a video on the Chinese social media platform Weibo. In it, the woman was apparently—we can presume—trying to eat the still-alive octopus, when the octopus decided it would go down swinging:

　　Did you know octopus are incredibly smart? That they have relatively large brains? Also, have you seen this zombie yellowtail tuna?

　　Aww geez. Sweet dreams, everyone.