I looked for Anna Wintour’s cell number in my contacts but I guess I misplaced it, so I’ll just direct this shouting to the whole internet: Why the hell are Flamin’ Hot Cheetos on fashion week runways?

　　I was cool with the idea of Guy Fieri-esque flames adorning $750 sweaters, but then, Fashion People, you started strapping Cheetos to models with bungee cord. I am bewildered.

　　Here’s how I got my panties in a twist: Munchies reports that athleticwear brand Chromat’s New York Fashion Week runway showlast week featured a diverse lineup of models—yay!—with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos strapped to them—no! what? No one should wear nice clothes while eating Cheetos; two of my favorite long-sleeve sweaters have been ruined by errant neon powder. (This runway show also involved a high number of foam pool noodles.) My best guess is that the runway mashup is some sort of Dada-esque collage of junk-food culture with high fashion, but I’m missing the larger point, if there is one. Also, I’ve now considered the phrase “Cheeto bondage.”

　　Apparently the fashion world thinks the look is cool, though: Twitter reactions were largely positive. Maybe these people just need more snack foods in their lives?

　　I am willing to concede that perhaps—just perhaps—I am not a fashion authority. As I type this, I’m working from home in men’s size large Cabela’s brand flannel pants and not even eating Cheetos. How unhip of me.