SimpleMost cast rennervate on our minds this morning, awakening us to a crucial development in the worlds of beer-drinking and Potter-fandom: a Harry Potter-themed beer festival is making the rounds in the U.S. As The Takeout’s Potter Bureau Chief, I am compelled to file this report.

　　The festival comes from events company Rock Star Beer Festivals, which organizes “brews cruises,” beer and music festivals, and other such shindigs which presumably don’t involve Hagrid puns. So far, this festival has dates scheduled in Portland, Las Vegas, Denver, Seattle, Phoenix, Indianapolis, and Louisville.

　　According to a Facebook event, the festival will include a tasting of “over twenty winter, pumpkin, and holiday ales including Snape’s Lair of Secret Cider Potions and Adult Butter Beer.” The venue will also be decorated to look like various locations from the books (the Great Hall, the Leaky Cauldron, etc.), and activities include a Hagrid photo op and live music from Slytherin Sisters and DJ Dumbledore. You can find a full list of dates here.

　　Having recently swallowed a tankard of pumpkin juice with a few drops of veritaserum, I am compelled to say that I find this all... a little basic? But that’s a solvable problem. Apologies for going full Granger here, but below you’ll find a brief list of all of the Harry Potter beer ideas I could come up with in seven minutes (seven being the most powerfully magical number.)

　　Dr. Ubbly’s Oblivious Unction: something with an A.B.V. so high it’ll make you forget all about the thought tentacles you had wrapped around your armsNeville the Hero’s Helles Freezes OverElder Wand Dark Ale: A beer so good you’ll brag about it to everyone and then someone will steal it while you sleepThe Weird Sisters Dopplebock and RollBuckbeack the HippogriffeweizenNarcissa Malfoy Sour: So tart it’ll make your face pucker and look real disapprovingDid Y’All Know The Guy Who Plays Neville Is Hot Now? A Juicy IPABertie Bott’s Every-Flavor Beer: a line of beers with unlabeled tap handles that taste like a whole bunch of weird shitFizzing Whizbees: Made with champagne yeast, so trendyAmortentia Marshmallow Stout: Just like Harry’s chocolate cauldronsPepperup Potion: A black pepper saisonFelix Felicis: a cream ale that smells like lavender, bonfires, Red Vines, Old Spice, and the verse at the end of “Yoncé” where she says “I sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker.” (What? It’s my list.)Inside Voice, Hagrid: A firewhiskey barrel-aged high-gravity porterSnitch This: A Bière de Garde served on a tray held by someone that never stops moving and if you catch it it’s worth 150 beersThe Swiveling Staircase, which tastes different on Fridays

　　Not My Daughter, You Czech-Style Pilsener! Call me if you need me, I’ve got more.