Sometimes, the headlines write themselves!

　　You may recall Stuart, Florida as the site of an ongoing battle between local residents and the Popeyes smell. Now, Stuart has also played host to a scuffle that resulted in numerous arrests and guaranteed a deluge of winking news reportage. In the same way one might expect a royal to demean his peasantry at a Burger King, or a red-haired woman to cause a scene inside a Wendy’s, a quintet of gentlemen were arrested by Stuart police after a fight broke out inside a Five Guys Burgers & Fries.

　　NBC 6 South Florida reports that a group of males, numbered between four and six, were arrested and charged with affray at the location. The incident is still under investigation; as of this writing, the cause of the fight remains unknown. And for as much as we hate to see a fray of fellows in any public location, we’re glad that these dudes didn’t cause any lasting damage, at least not compared to the forthcoming wordplay as a result of where it all went down.