A Lakeland, Florida sandwich theft was first reported a week ago, readers, and this is our apology for not bringing you the news sooner. Frankly, I have no excuse for missing a story that includes all of The Takeout’s favorite topics: sandwiches, a Florida man, crime, and hiding stolen food in pants. All I can do is apologize and make amends for this oversight by swiftly bringing you the sandwich-pants news without further delay.

　　To that end: Polk County detectives are presumably still searching for a man who stole a footlong sandwich from a gas station deli at around 8:45 p.m. on Sunday, November 25, as reported by FOX-13 News. (We’ve found no updates from the police regarding this case since then.)

　　The man reportedly stuffed the 12-inch sandwich into his tan-colored pants without paying for it, then left on a bicycle “in an unknown direction.” This suspect, whose image was captured on security footage, may still be at large and could be armed with a concealed hoagie. To those who say this type of crime is small potatoes, the sheriff’s office in a Facebook post replies: “No..this was a foot long sandwich, not potatoes. Pay attention!” Authorities add: “This should also serve as notice to all as to why you do not take food from a stranger. You don’t know where it’s been.”

　　Per FOX-13, anonymous tips can be called in to Heartland Crime Stoppers at 1-800-226-8477.