Ingredients

　　

Curling

Step 1

Once bacon is already fairly curly, the only thing to do is to put something heavy and flat on it—like a pot full of water—right on the griddle or in the frying pan. If it is already cooked and hopelessly curly, why not break it into small pieces and drop it into the eggs or whatever.

　　

Step 2

Next time, bake the bacon at 400°F for 10 to 15 minutes instead of griddling or frying it. If you bake it on a wire rack (or on your broiler pan in the oven), it’ll be crispy and lovely. Baked bacon tastes just the same, but it just lies there, flat as a pancake. If you broil it, prick each slice in three or four places with a fork.

　　

Hard to chop

Step 3

Freeze for 15 minutes until firm and chopping will be much easier.

　　

On fire

Step 4

Small fire? Drop a pot or pan on top of it to snuff it out. Big fire? Pour on baking soda or salt. Lots.

　　

Stuck together

Step 5

Method 1: Roll up the entire package crosswise. Unroll, and unless the pigs were fed on a diet of glue, the bacon strips should be unstuck. Method 2: Drop the whole stuck-together bundle onto the griddle, under the broiler, or in the oven. It will come unstuck as it cooks and the melting fat acts as a lubricant. You can then separate the slices and cook them one at a time.

　　How to Repair Food, Third Edition