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Sep 12, 2025
Mariah Carey’s Cookies are Not A Sweet, Sweet Fantasy
　　My childhood best friend loves Mariah Carey. Like, loves her. One time, my dad was at Blockbuster (back when you could go to Blockbuster, RIP) and the store was selling off excess VHS copies of Glitter, so he bought it for my BFF. It remains one of her fondest memories...
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Mariah Carey’s Cookies are Not A Sweet, Sweet Fantasy
Sep 12, 2025
McDonald’s Jalapeño McChicken Will Break You Out of Your Routine
　　McDonald’s recently re-released a pair of limited-time-only special items: the Jalapeño McChicken and Jalapeño Double. Both sandwiches feature their typical bases (a fried chicken patty and hamburger patties, respectively) and are each topped with American cheese, pickled jalapeños, fried jalapeño chips, and ranch sauce. The chain originally introduced the Jalapeño...
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McDonald’s Jalapeño McChicken Will Break You Out of Your Routine
Sep 12, 2025
I Drank the Velveeta Martini and I Hate That I’m Writing About It
　　Having spent the past few months in Europe, I learned there are some things that no one does quite like Americans: air conditioning, super wide roads, and processed cheese products. So, when I saw news of the Velveeta Martini (aka the Veltini) available at BLT Restaurant Group’s eateries across the...
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I Drank the Velveeta Martini and I Hate That I’m Writing About It
Sep 12, 2025
The IHOP Minions Menu Isn’t for Everyone
　　It began in 2010 with Tater Tots. The plate was loaded with cheese sauce, bacon, tomatoes, and an array of other cheesy and spicy ingredients. Warm dough bites sprinkled with cinnamon sugar and cream cheese frosting. Fluffy lemon pancakes topped with triple berry compote and creamy whipped topping. All sound...
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The IHOP Minions Menu Isn’t for Everyone
Sep 12, 2025
Basque in the Imperfection of The Cheesecake Factory’s Newest Dessert
　　There’s a visceral satisfaction in the smooth planes of a perfectly executed cheesecake, particularly the dense New York style. From the side, an elegantly seamless curve where the entire round was gently released from a Springform pan, you can see the thinly layered base of pressed graham crackers—a delicate stage...
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Basque in the Imperfection of The Cheesecake Factory’s Newest Dessert
Sep 12, 2025
We Have No Goddamn Clue How We Feel About Mustard Doughnuts
　　Saturday, August 6, is National Mustard Day. This year, popular condiment brand French’s has paired up with New York bakery Dough Doughnuts to release a yellow-mustard-iced doughnut with a cake crumble topping. You’ll be able to score a free box of two mustard doughnuts on Dough’s website starting at 9 a.m....
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We Have No Goddamn Clue How We Feel About Mustard Doughnuts
Sep 12, 2025
The Great Plant-Based Egg Taste Test
　　I eat eggs almost every morning, scrambled with a pinch of salt and topped with a few cracks of black pepper and a dash of hot sauce. So when I saw a TV advertisement featuring Serena Williams digging into a plant-based scramble that looked like the real thing, I was...
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The Great Plant-Based Egg Taste Test
Sep 12, 2025
How Does a Little Caesars Pizza With 100 Pepperonis Taste?
　　Little Caesars has released a limited-time-only pizza with a zany name: the Old World Fanceroni Pepperoni. (Not surprising, considering another recent menu item was dubbed the Batman Calzony.) It’s basically just a pepperoni pizza with a shitload of pepperoni on top. But this isn’t just any pepperoni. It’s cupping pepperoni, the...
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How Does a Little Caesars Pizza With 100 Pepperonis Taste?
Sep 12, 2025
Popeyes’ Newest Menu Item Is an Instant Mood Enhancer
　　I don’t seek out sweet food. It’s sort of a habit I got into as an adult at some point. I don’t dislike dessert; I just don’t actively consider it. If I’m out for lunch or dinner I load up on the savory stuff and mostly get too full to...
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Popeyes’ Newest Menu Item Is an Instant Mood Enhancer
Sep 12, 2025
Pollo Campero Brings Something Saucy to the Chicken Sandwich Wars
　　Arriving at a party fashionably late is a statement. You enter the fracas at the peak of activity when everyone is either warmed up, socially lubricated, or both, and anyone wondering if you were ever going to show up is super excited that you did. But arriving late to a...
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Pollo Campero Brings Something Saucy to the Chicken Sandwich Wars
Sep 12, 2025
This Plant-Based Filet Mignon Told Beautiful Lies to My Palate
　　I like meat. I like the way it tastes, the way it smells, and the variety of dishes in which it can be enjoyed. But I also happen to like eating plants and trying to make responsible choices for the planet. So, when Juicy Marbles popped onto my radar, I...
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This Plant-Based Filet Mignon Told Beautiful Lies to My Palate
Sep 12, 2025
Tangy Tamarind Doritos Are Missing Something Important
　　So long, sweet and savory—tangy snacks are all the rage right now. If you don’t believe me, just look at the rising popularity of pickle products; people can’t seem to get enough of that sour, pucker-inducing flavor. Frito-Lay has been keeping a close eye on these trends, apparently, because it...
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Tangy Tamarind Doritos Are Missing Something Important
Sep 12, 2025
Can Wendy’s New French Toast Sticks Topple the King?
　　French toast sticks are not only my favorite frozen grocery item, they have also always been a reason to seek out Burger King at breakfast time. I was excited to hear that Wendy’s has introduced its own version of these sweet, fried sticks of wonder—its first major addition to the...
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Can Wendy’s New French Toast Sticks Topple the King?
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