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Sep 12, 2025
Taco Bell’s new White Hot Ranch Fries are a beautiful disaster
　　There are roughly three foods for which I’ll risk debilitating heartburn. My mom’s Old Settlers’ Baked Beans, which are packed with enough bacon to cancel out the moral of Charlotte’s Web; pepperoni-stuffed breadsticks from a nearby pizza joint, which reliably result in well-earned indigestion; and Taco Bell, the slightly broader...
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Taco Bell’s new White Hot Ranch Fries are a beautiful disaster
Sep 12, 2025
Chocolate Dr. Pepper makes your fridge more fun
　　In the 50 years since Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory was released, no one has been able to tell me what that chocolate river tasted like. Michael Bollner, who played Augustus Gloop, hinted that the water was cold and/or stinky, full of coffee cup dregs and all manner of...
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Chocolate Dr. Pepper makes your fridge more fun
Sep 12, 2025
Starbucks’ new Apple Crisp Macchiato just might dethrone the #PSL
　　My usual Starbucks order is a hot, pitch-black, four-shot Americano, because I’m a no-nonsense broad with a need for speed and a cool leather jacket to match. I like coffee that’s straight to the point and harsh as the day is long, with nary a cutesy thing about it. But...
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Starbucks’ new Apple Crisp Macchiato just might dethrone the #PSL
Sep 12, 2025
Who at Aldi thought cocktail-flavored cheeses were a good idea?
　　On some level, I am grateful for Aldi’s new collection of cocktail-inspired cheeses (Peach Bellini, Piña Colada, and Espresso Martini, to be exact), because I am a naturally curious person, and these products have set my mind alight with questions. Questions such as: how did this cheese come to exist...
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Who at Aldi thought cocktail-flavored cheeses were a good idea?
Sep 12, 2025
McDonald’s new donut takes its sweet time to get good
　　In the world of fast food, it’s very, very rare that we’d advocate for taking your time. Not only is that sort of missing the point of fast food, but regular purchasers of french fries, chicken sandwiches, and just about any other grab-and-go delight understands the peril of letting this...
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McDonald’s new donut takes its sweet time to get good
Sep 12, 2025
Taco Bell’s Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco defies categorization
　　When I approached the register to purchase my Taco Bell Crispy Chicken Sandwich Tacos, the cashier paused, then gave the promotional poster beside us a good, hard look before keying in the order. “Sorry,” she said. “I haven’t rung one of these up yet. But I’m so interested in them!”...
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Taco Bell’s Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco defies categorization
Sep 12, 2025
In this nonstop volley of fried chicken sandwiches, is it time to fear the Jollibee?
　　Update, September 14, 2021: At the time of our Taste Test in June, Jollibee’s fried chicken sandwich was only available in select locations. But guess what? A press release sent to The Takeout confirms that this excellent example of a fast food chicken sandwich is now available nationwide, and all...
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In this nonstop volley of fried chicken sandwiches, is it time to fear the Jollibee?
Sep 12, 2025
Impossible Chicken Nuggets are the latest in fake-meat innovation [Updated]
　　Updated Post, September 17, 2021: As we await the release of Impossible Chicken Nuggets in major grocery store chains, you may be wondering where you can snag some right out of a restaurant’s deep fryer. Because, let’s face it, we all know everything is better right out of a deep...
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Impossible Chicken Nuggets are the latest in fake-meat innovation [Updated]
Sep 12, 2025
Wendy’s new french fries taste like an identity crisis
　　Last month, Wendy’s made a big fast food announcement: the chain would be releasing a new version of its french fries. Maybe you’ve never thought too hard about Wendy’s fries up until now, but my assessment of the previous fries was that they were mostly terrible, depending on the timing...
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Wendy’s new french fries taste like an identity crisis
Sep 12, 2025
Should you risk it for the Chipotle brisket?
　　The latest limited-time-only release from Chipotle hit stores nationwide this past week: smoked brisket. According to the press release announcing the new menu item, a beef brisket protein option is one of the menu additions that customers have been requesting the most. The culinary team at Chipotle spent two whole...
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Should you risk it for the Chipotle brisket?
Sep 12, 2025
The Jonas Brothers sure know how to put the corny pop in popcorn
　　Yesterday, my mailman arrived with the most fortuitous of deliveries. Right as I was about to settle in on the couch to watch a movie with my teenage son, a drab beige box appeared on my doorstep, and inside that box were two drabber, beige-er, bags of Rob’s Backstage Popcorn. 　　Now,...
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The Jonas Brothers sure know how to put the corny pop in popcorn
Sep 12, 2025
Domino’s new Oven-Baked Dips are melty mediocrity
　　If we know anything here—at the offices The Takeout, in the greater Midwest, and deep inside our hearts—it’s that dip is a special culinary category worthy of our attention and appetites. A good dip will stick with you for years, and not just in the area of your ribs; my...
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Domino’s new Oven-Baked Dips are melty mediocrity
Sep 12, 2025
All hail the Culver’s CurderBurger, our cheesy one-day-only king
　　Tomorrow, October 15, is National Cheese Curd Day, and Midwestern burger chain Culver’s is taking full advantage of the occasion. How? By turning a curd-centric April Fools’ joke into a full-blown entree in celebration of our beloved fried cheese nuggets. If you recall, Culver’s cheekily tweeted a photoshopped picture of...
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All hail the Culver’s CurderBurger, our cheesy one-day-only king
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